ADDRESS BY PRESIDENT McALEESE AT THE LAUNCH OF THE BALLYMUN DÓCHAS (HOPE AFTER SUICIDE) SERVICE
ADDRESS BY PRESIDENT McALEESE AT THE LAUNCH OF THE BALLYMUN DÓCHAS (HOPE AFTER SUICIDE) SERVICE ON THURSDAY, 7TH JUNE, 2001
Tá lúcháir mhór orm go bhfuil mé abalta bheith anseo libh inniú, agus ba mhaith liom mo bhuíochas a chur in iúl daoibh as an chuireadh, agus as fáilte a bhí caoin, cneasta, agus croidiúil.
I was delighted to receive and accept the invitation to be here today at the launch of the Ballymun Dóchas (Hope after Suicide) Service. I welcome the opportunity to be part of this occasion because I recognise and deeply value the importance of the work which you are undertaking.
Death by suicide brings a life to an end in the most tragic, shattering and bewildering way. Most of us find the death of a loved one hard to deal with but when that death results from suicide the devastating impact on family and friends is of an order of magnitude almost impossible to imagine.
The rise in the incidence of suicide is alarming and deeply troubling. Why is it that so many young men in particular choose this lonely journey? Why are certain other groups such as elderly men living alone, particularly at risk? What can we do to halt the rise? How can we best cope when it comes to our own doorstep? These questions perplex us and together we are stumbling our way to the answers we need to fight this terrible killer whose victims are not just those who die by their own hand but those they leave behind.
The causes of suicide are the subject of many learned papers and considerable research and indeed we all hope the experts will find answers which may help us chart a new pathway for those who feel suicidal, a pathway away from that final, fateful and dreadful act.
But whether or not the causes ever fully reveal their mysteries, families are still left to cope with the aftermath, to make sense of their wounded world, to keep on living and hoping not just living and hurting. Peace of mind for those left behind is a big issue - how to find it, where to find it, can it be found for the living victims of suicide?
The suffering of relatives and friends is awesome and it is real. Some never suspected that suicide was in their loved one’s mind and they are left in a limbo of self-doubt, of angry questioning, of a mountain of unanswered whys and what ifs. Others have lived with the reality of mental illness leading to suicidal behaviour. They have fought hard for their loved ones, prayed, tried everything but to no avail and they often feel deep despair at their inability to prevent the suicide. These are powerful, overwhelming emotions and now they not only have to face their own lives with the inevitable ups and downs that life brings but they have to face it with this additional harsh, unfair burden, a burden not of their making.
The importance of an organisation such as yours in providing the help and support needed to face these problems cannot be overestimated. Suicide so often conduces to an eerie silence. People find it very hard to open up, to talk about it, to deal with it frankly and sensitively. And so the victims of that suicide, those left behind can often be ignored or passed over. The post-traumatic stress experienced after a suicide can be considerable but the message from this day is that there is help, there is hope, there is support, most of all there is recognition that you are a victim, you are suffering, your pain matters, your health matters. Putting the jagged edges of a life shattered by suicide, back together again is not easy but neither is it impossible. There are people out there who have gone this journey, whose experience distils into wisdom that can be shared. There are people who can help you find new coping skills, people who can listen, advise, cajole, comfort, help you find acceptance, help you to move on and re-find the joy in life which suicide robbed you of.
Joan Rivers once said, “You have to let grief break your heart so that the light can get through.” There is a light at the end of that long tunnel. Reaching that light is worth every painful step and it is a journey you do not have to go entirely alone. Dóchas offers a helping hand, a crutch to lean on, a nest to fly from when you are ready. I commend your valuable work. It will, I hope and pray, help make lives better, help heal the broken-hearted.
Mo bhuíochas libh arís. Guím gach rath agus séan ar bhur gcuid oibre san am áta le teacht.